That sucks, nonnie, I'm really sorry! To be honest, if you're not willing to consider opening up your relationship, I think you should end it now. It's only going to get emotionally harder two years in and five years in and the fact that she's cheated once and possibly twice within the first year of your relationship doesn't bode well for her being monogamous in the future. I think sometimes we think that if we just say the right thing to make our significant others understand or do the right thing to keep them happy, they won't need/want to cheat. But I've come to believe that some people truly aren't wired for monogamy and it's just unrealistic to think that you can change someone by loving them in the right way. In the long run, love is great, but shared values and commitments are what keep the love going.
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Re: she's breaking my heart like yeah
(Anonymous) 2011-05-01 03:00 am (UTC)(link)That sucks, nonnie, I'm really sorry! To be honest, if you're not willing to consider opening up your relationship, I think you should end it now. It's only going to get emotionally harder two years in and five years in and the fact that she's cheated once and possibly twice within the first year of your relationship doesn't bode well for her being monogamous in the future. I think sometimes we think that if we just say the right thing to make our significant others understand or do the right thing to keep them happy, they won't need/want to cheat. But I've come to believe that some people truly aren't wired for monogamy and it's just unrealistic to think that you can change someone by loving them in the right way. In the long run, love is great, but shared values and commitments are what keep the love going.
Re: she's breaking my heart like yeah
(Anonymous) 2011-05-01 11:23 am (UTC)(link)Yeah, this is all true. I think I should, too. Thanks for your help, nonnie.