There's this guy. We dated over the internet; he lived several states away. Long story short, he was emotionally abusive and could often pressure me into doing things I'd rather not do. He'd want me to call him every night when we went to bed and engage in phone sex. He always wanted me to be really loud because it turned him on, but I was still living at home and my brother's room was right next door. I know he heard all of it. It was humiliating. The worst part was that none of it was real. I faked all the moans and stuff because I just couldn't feel turned on with all that pressure.
When I drove to his house to visit him, it was more or less the same. He'd talk me into sex when I wasn't really after sex and really didn't want his mother to hear us. It wasn't actual sex, just mutual handjobs. I never had a real orgasm with him; I faked them so we could quit and do other things that were more fun. And I said no at first but then I caved and said yes later, both on the phonesex and the handjobs. So...con, dubcon, or noncon?
Re: Would you classify this as con, dubcon, or noncon?
It didn't feel non-consensual, exactly, but...idk, it didn't really feel consensual either. I didn't want to do it; I just did because I felt like I had to.
Re: Would you classify this as con, dubcon, or noncon?
Nonnie, there's your answer right there. A person can be pressured into sex, coerced, without being explicitly physically forced. The fact that you're asking the question at all should already make all the alarm bells go off.
In other words: get away. The faster the better. Right now, in fact.
Re: Would you classify this as con, dubcon, or noncon?
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Would you classify this as con, dubcon, or noncon?
(Anonymous) 2010-12-13 11:18 pm (UTC)(link)There's this guy. We dated over the internet; he lived several states away. Long story short, he was emotionally abusive and could often pressure me into doing things I'd rather not do. He'd want me to call him every night when we went to bed and engage in phone sex. He always wanted me to be really loud because it turned him on, but I was still living at home and my brother's room was right next door. I know he heard all of it. It was humiliating. The worst part was that none of it was real. I faked all the moans and stuff because I just couldn't feel turned on with all that pressure.
When I drove to his house to visit him, it was more or less the same. He'd talk me into sex when I wasn't really after sex and really didn't want his mother to hear us. It wasn't actual sex, just mutual handjobs. I never had a real orgasm with him; I faked them so we could quit and do other things that were more fun. And I said no at first but then I caved and said yes later, both on the phonesex and the handjobs. So...con, dubcon, or noncon?
Re: Would you classify this as con, dubcon, or noncon?
(Anonymous) 2010-12-13 11:22 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Would you classify this as con, dubcon, or noncon?
(Anonymous) 2010-12-13 11:40 pm (UTC)(link)Re: Would you classify this as con, dubcon, or noncon?
(Anonymous) 2010-12-14 12:26 am (UTC)(link)Nonnie, there's your answer right there. A person can be pressured into sex, coerced, without being explicitly physically forced. The fact that you're asking the question at all should already make all the alarm bells go off.
In other words: get away. The faster the better. Right now, in fact.
Re: Would you classify this as con, dubcon, or noncon?
(Anonymous) 2010-12-14 03:15 am (UTC)(link)Re: Would you classify this as con, dubcon, or noncon?
(Anonymous) 2010-12-15 01:08 am (UTC)(link)