spnanonhaven (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
spnanonhaven) wrote2010-10-18 09:53 pm
spnanonhaven) wrote2010-10-18 09:53 pm
Big Bang/Exchange Fic Discussion #1
Post your threads for Big Bangs and exchange fics here.
Format like so:
SUBJECT: Title [Pairing, Rating] by AUTHOR
CONTENT: Art by whoever
http://url of the master post on the BB comm.
Format like so:
SUBJECT: Title [Pairing, Rating] by AUTHOR
CONTENT: Art by whoever
http://url of the master post on the BB comm.
Re: DCBB: Code Purple [Jensen/Misha, R] by Ru_salki99
(Anonymous) 2011-02-13 04:20 pm (UTC)(link)Some technical stuff that bothered me:
1)The beers were for Danielle, Robbie and [Misha] – yeah he wasn’t uber gay, he drank beer... Blah.
2)A lot of lines with dialogue are written like this: “It’s something I’m beginning to realise yes,” Misha nodded, “but I had a broken heart too..." The 'but' is supposed to be capitalized.
3)There are a lot of missing commas. For example, there's the quote above, and here are a couple others:
- “Careful, Richard,” Misha warned
,. “don’t want to give me the wrong impression now, do you?”- “So, you’re back for your sister’s wedding?” Vicki asked.
- “Well, I guess happiness is really all that matters, right?”
- “Hey, Misha,” [Jared] added with a smile as he held out his hand. “Good to see you, man.”
4)The capitalization of swear words (Hell, Goddamn,) was a little distracting.
5)Exclamatory sentences like this: It was possibly the most painful form of torture ever! If the fic had been written in first person, that kind of line would've sounded more natural, but in this case they came off as unintentionally hilarious, like the narrative was being interrupted by 'Dear Diary: Jensen iz 2 hawt!' moments.
This line didn't bother me, but it still jumped out:
...Misha went with Jensen outside where Icarus was put down and allowed to run around with a couple of larger dogs...
LOL at the unfortunate wording there. For a second I thought the poor dog really was being put to sleep.
Overall: I'd give it a C at most. As for the art... Um. I like the iPhone image?
Re: DCBB: Code Purple [Jensen/Misha, R] by Ru_salki99
(Anonymous) 2011-02-13 08:22 pm (UTC)(link)2)A lot of lines with dialogue are written like this: “It’s something I’m beginning to realise yes,” Misha nodded, “but I had a broken heart too..." The 'but' is supposed to be capitalized.
Not there, it isn't. As far as I remember, when you split up a line of dialogue with a tag like that, you use a comma and don't capitalize. So, for example:
Correct: "You," she said, "are a massive prick."
Incorrect: "You," she said. "Are a massive prick." or "You," she said, "Are a massive prick."
If the tag was between sentences, like in your first example below, then you'd be right.
Re: DCBB: Code Purple [Jensen/Misha, R] by Ru_salki99
(Anonymous) 2011-02-14 02:05 am (UTC)(link)Re: DCBB: Code Purple [Jensen/Misha, R] by Ru_salki99
(Anonymous) 2011-02-14 02:26 am (UTC)(link)I think the fact that the author used "nodded" here makes it confusing. It would definitely be correct if they used "said" instead of "nodded," but you can't actually nod words, so they probably should have either used "said" or not interrupted the sentence there.
Re: DCBB: Code Purple [Jensen/Misha, R] by Ru_salki99
(Anonymous) 2011-02-14 02:28 am (UTC)(link)Yeah, "nodded" is not an appropriate dialogue tag. It shouldn't connect to that. I really wish people would quit doing that.
Re: DCBB: Code Purple [Jensen/Misha, R] by Ru_salki99
(Anonymous) 2011-02-13 10:31 pm (UTC)(link)It's really strange that you would call out the capitalization of 'but' here when that's one of the few things that's right about that sentence.