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I can't imagine going out of the country for college? And it's a place where they would make fun of you for having an accent?
At least you can admit your problems are somewhat petty and self-induced.
ayrt
I don't actually think they'd make fun of my accent. But see, my entire life, I've suffered from xenophobia, and my one saving straw, so to speak, was that I could speak the language perfectly. And now that's gone, and it makes me incredibly self-conscious. I freeze up when I have to talk and barely manage to whisper. And I haven't always been like that. In fact, my voice usually is quite booming.
Going out of the country definitely wasn't the right choice for me. A good friend of mine did it too, but she's much more well-adjusted and independent. And, well, they speak the same language where she went. I thought it would be a fresh start. A new life with new friends and a new me.
I don't actually think they'd make fun of my accent. But see, my entire life, I've suffered from xenophobia, and my one saving straw, so to speak, was that I could speak the language perfectly. And now that's gone, and it makes me incredibly self-conscious. I freeze up when I have to talk and barely manage to whisper. And I haven't always been like that. In fact, my voice usually is quite booming.
Going out of the country definitely wasn't the right choice for me. A good friend of mine did it too, but she's much more well-adjusted and independent. And, well, they speak the same language where she went. I thought it would be a fresh start. A new life with new friends and a new me.
http://i1242.photobucket.com/albums/gg526/docdoudou/tumblr_lycuw6uoOC1qdpkvso1_1280.jpg
O__O
O__O
If you know your parents will be understanding and willing to listen, then I think you should tell them. They probably don't know just how bad you're feeling. I'd be horrified if someone I love is considering committing suicide and I didn't know about it. And I think you should talk to them about your college situation too. Let them know how unhappy you are with it. I can relate to that a bit too, actually. I was too immature at seventeen to choose the 'right' subject to study at college and although I stuck to it and graduated, I still regret the decision, many times.
I hope things get better for you, nonnie. And rant all you want :) *hug*
I hope things get better for you, nonnie. And rant all you want :) *hug*
You're really lovely, nonnie, thank you for being there for me! <3
I'll try to tell them. I don't really know how to bring it up, and I'm kind of scared I'm going home in march for a couple of weeks, maybe I should bring it up then? I'll think about it.
I'll try to tell them. I don't really know how to bring it up, and I'm kind of scared I'm going home in march for a couple of weeks, maybe I should bring it up then? I'll think about it.
Guys here is a song I used to love a lot (tw for reference to abortion):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fR7TJO11QM
It's Shasta (Carrie's Song) by Vienna Teng, whom I adore. But the more I listen the more uncomfortable it makes me. I think it's the Christian lady reference and the 'ghosts with a negative age' business. I don't enjoy being all weirded out by this, it's a lovely song otherwise. Thoughts?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1fR7TJO11QM
It's Shasta (Carrie's Song) by Vienna Teng, whom I adore. But the more I listen the more uncomfortable it makes me. I think it's the Christian lady reference and the 'ghosts with a negative age' business. I don't enjoy being all weirded out by this, it's a lovely song otherwise. Thoughts?
IDGI. First of all, what is a "ghost with a negative age", and why don't you like it? Also could you explain what is it about the reference to the Christian lady that made you uncomfortable? Although, TBH... I just didn't get the song in general. Some lady is driving and I guess she's going to get an abortion, and then.... IDK. The last few parts of the song are confusing and I don't know WTF is going on. Sorry I don't have anything smart to say about it :(
Sorry, yeah. My OP was whoa confusing.
The song is about a woman deciding against an abortion because she feels guilty about "a life half-broken away" and creating a "ghost with a negative age". The Christian lady accosting women at an abortion clinic to convince them not to go through with it being portrayed as this positive influence just sticks in my craw.
At first I just took the lyrics as a woman freaking out about an unplanned pregnancy and finally deciding to keep the kid, which is a-okay with me, lovely song, etc. Then I started noticing all the guilt about ending a life and the pro-life shit, and I just don't know if I'm getting up in arms over nothing.
The song is about a woman deciding against an abortion because she feels guilty about "a life half-broken away" and creating a "ghost with a negative age". The Christian lady accosting women at an abortion clinic to convince them not to go through with it being portrayed as this positive influence just sticks in my craw.
At first I just took the lyrics as a woman freaking out about an unplanned pregnancy and finally deciding to keep the kid, which is a-okay with me, lovely song, etc. Then I started noticing all the guilt about ending a life and the pro-life shit, and I just don't know if I'm getting up in arms over nothing.
AYRT
Ohhh man I am dumb. The ghost with a negative age is because it died before being born. Jeez.
Anyway, yeah, I don't like the implications either. People staking out a clinic pestering people who go there to get an abortion trying to guilt them are rude and it's not cute, it shouldn't be talked about like they're "nice Christian ladies" and such. I don't think you're overreacting at all.
Ohhh man I am dumb. The ghost with a negative age is because it died before being born. Jeez.
Anyway, yeah, I don't like the implications either. People staking out a clinic pestering people who go there to get an abortion trying to guilt them are rude and it's not cute, it shouldn't be talked about like they're "nice Christian ladies" and such. I don't think you're overreacting at all.
Man, it took me ages of listening to the song before cottoning on, it's not just you! Thanks, nonnie. I was all conflicted because I've loved this song for so long but lately I get all unsettled listening to it. Thanks for talking it out with me :)
Reminds me of when Karl Lagerfeld called Adele a fattie.
DA
Who's Karl Lagerfield and how does that relate to the song? o.o
Who's Karl Lagerfield and how does that relate to the song? o.o
http://kittywigs.com/wigindex.html
http://www.thesophisticatedcat.com/cat_clothes/accessories/index.html
I have no problem with people dressing up their pets, but I must admit that I find the wigs as strange as Creative Grooming in the dogworld.
http://www.thesophisticatedcat.com/cat_clothes/accessories/index.html
I have no problem with people dressing up their pets, but I must admit that I find the wigs as strange as Creative Grooming in the dogworld.
This thread is almost a month old, but whatever, I need to share my misery. I stopped taking my medication, and my sex-drive has returned. I want to masturbate. The problem? I live in a student flat with other people. The walls are so thin, I can hear the guy next to me snore. I can hear his phone vibrating when it wakes him up in the morning. So... I kind of guess he can hear my toys vibrating too? And it's kind of 2 am, which would be an awkward time to epilate your legs, which would be my number one excuse.
And I guess I'll get my period in a couple of days or maybe tonight, I don't count, so I'd really, really like to do it now. Otherwise, I might run to the next bar to hook up with someone random, which I don't think would be such a great idea. I am very unhappy with this situation.
And I guess I'll get my period in a couple of days or maybe tonight, I don't count, so I'd really, really like to do it now. Otherwise, I might run to the next bar to hook up with someone random, which I don't think would be such a great idea. I am very unhappy with this situation.
Hmmm, shower fapping? Good ole finger work?
expensive alarm clock that's a vibrator?
expensive alarm clock that's a vibrator?
Yay for having your sex drive back, nonnie. It sucks that your walls are so thin, though. I don't know if that's an option, but maybe you could go to the bathroom and turn on the shower? That would probably cover the noise your toys would make.
I would use the shower, but sadly, we don't have showerheads. And I'm just terribly bad with my fingers. I guess I'll just try to sleep. I always get jumpy when I hear the guy next door stirring. Yeah, the walls are THAT thin. It makes me so paranoid, what can he hear? My laughter? My swearing? My talking while I sleep or making various noises before I fall sleep? (I don't know why, but when I'm really tired, I go through a series of sighs and whimpers and groans before finally being able to fall asleep. I just can't help it, it's part of the getting-comfortable ritual.) I kind of don't care if he hears me masturbating, because it's nothing to be ashamed of, but I'm kind of scared of him knocking on the door or something like that.
I'm happy about it too. I didn't miss it much, but now I just want to make up for the time lost.
And I think I'll give that a try, thanks for the advice! But maybe tomorrow, the mood has kind of vanished for now.
And I think I'll give that a try, thanks for the advice! But maybe tomorrow, the mood has kind of vanished for now.
I love(d) milk, nonnies.
Drank the stuff like I breathed air, I did.
But then I suddenly stopped. Started drinking soy and almond milk and other healthy alternative stuff. Then I just used them only for things that needed milk, like cereal and recipes. Just about went cold turkey.
BUT SUDDENLY.
I decided to use old school 2% fat milk for my cereal. I took a sip before the por to make sure it was fresh, but then it's delicious flavored beckoned to me like a long lost lover.
I drank the whole cup in a fit of mental ecstasy. Had to get another for the cereal.
It's about an hour later and my tummy might not be feeling too good. I think I'm lactose-intolerant now. :'(
Oh milk, why did I stray. Why must my body turn against me.
Drank the stuff like I breathed air, I did.
But then I suddenly stopped. Started drinking soy and almond milk and other healthy alternative stuff. Then I just used them only for things that needed milk, like cereal and recipes. Just about went cold turkey.
BUT SUDDENLY.
I decided to use old school 2% fat milk for my cereal. I took a sip before the por to make sure it was fresh, but then it's delicious flavored beckoned to me like a long lost lover.
I drank the whole cup in a fit of mental ecstasy. Had to get another for the cereal.
It's about an hour later and my tummy might not be feeling too good. I think I'm lactose-intolerant now. :'(
Oh milk, why did I stray. Why must my body turn against me.
I lost 18 games of Spider Solitaire in a row yesterday.
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